khristle: (Default)
[personal profile] khristle
I think I have some sort of phobia when it comes to social networking. I have a hard time commenting to other people's posts, even when I want to. I think I'm afraid of sounding stupid or offending someone. I have a similar problem when I'm put in charge of answering customer's e-mailed in questions. It takes me FOREVER to respond to an e-mail. I have to read/re-read and edit every single e-mail. I have a hard time putting things in writing. This is especially true when it comes to something important. A friend at work recently had surgery and was posting on FB about it and her trip the the ER and being admitted to the hospital. I read everything, was deeply concerned, but didn't respond to her posts. I should have said "hope you're feeling better" or something, but that felt too...I dunno, cheap? Too canned? Almost like it didn't mean anything. She later wrote on FB about how she could tell who her real friends were based on who asked her how she was doing and who she could write off as a friend. I'm feeling really guilty and sad. I think her and I are still on good terms, but I still feel bad for not wishing her well. I need to work on putting myself out there more I guess.

Date: 2011-12-30 01:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You can always send a private message in FB. A long-time friend of mine was in a very bad motorcycle accident earlier this year, that had him in the hospital for about a week. I sent him a message saying I was very glad he was still around, because i didn't like the idea of a world without him in it.... it was somewhat awkward & text-based, but i was able to get across that I was glad he was okay without either of us having to break our respective elaborate facades. (yes, i'm weird.)

Comments can be kinda canned, but messages give you a chance to say what you need, without triggering any performance anxiety. :)

Date: 2012-01-01 08:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
that kind of makes sense. I still get "performance anxiety" when sending messages too. I don't like to put things in writing these days.

Date: 2011-12-30 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I always feel awkward when I miss a post where someone is hurt, sick, or miserable and see it a couple days late. There are seventeen replies that say "hope you're feeling better" and every possible permutation. Do I say, "oh, me too", at that point? Or what if they all say "hope you're feeling better"? It's like there's a "sympathy" button next to the "like" button. It's too simple and impersonal, but I don't have a lot more to say than that. Sometimes I revert to humor. Don't let the Ice Weasels get you.

Date: 2012-01-01 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That is exactly a huge part of my problem! I hate sounding impersonal but have nothing more to say except "feel better" or "sorry". So I just say nothing on FB and try to inquire about the situation in person if I can. But apparently, this can make me a bad friend.

Date: 2011-12-31 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I've been very scarce on FB & LJ lately and I can't really say that I've missed it. I never know what to say to people who are sick/grieving, either in writing or in person.

Date: 2012-01-01 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
FB is so integrated into my life that at this point, it would be very hard for me to give it up. Seriously, my phone gives me status updates whenever I open up that person's contact info and pulls their pictures from FB.

Yeah, sympathy is so hard to convey without sounding impersonal.


khristle: (Default)

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