khristle: (Default)
Tomorrow I go to have my lap band inspected and to possibly have a fill. I haven't had one in over a year and a half! I'm nervous. There are three possible outcomes:

1) They say my band is "just tight enough" and then I'll be disappointed because I haven't lost as much as I had hoped,.

2) They said I've stretched my pouch, in which case they will take all the fluid out of my band and then I'll enter the holiday season with no restriction. (this is by far the scariest scenario)

3) They say I could use a fill, and then I'm learning how to eat all over again during a time when social eating is expected.

Number three is what I'm hoping for, even if it is scary. It would be nice to jump start my weight loss and be a size smaller by the time I go to Disneyland!
khristle: (Default)
The first day of my diet went well. I was STARVING by dinner time though, and not just head hunger. I can see how this could get real old, real fast, but for now I am committed and I am frantically researching my options here.

I'm wondering if I could do something like a modified CAD, but instead of sticking with low carb foods for breakfast and lunch, do low glycemic ones instead. With the band, my low carb options are limited because those types of foods just don't go down very easily first thing in the morning. Being able to eat something like yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast and chili/soup for lunch and fruit for a snack would really help me stay on track. And then anything goes for dinner as long as it is eaten within the one hour. It's all about controlling insulin, so that should work.
khristle: (Default)
I'm starting an actual diet today. Diets are about will power and self denial - something I'm not very good at, but I'm only doing this diet for 1 month. I can do anything for a month. Hell, I did Atkins for 6 months with NO cheating. This will be easy.

Now during this month, I'm researching physiological reasons for overeating. Why do I feel the need to eat when I know I'm not hungry? And more importantly, what can I do to stop it?

With the band I am no longer facing a physical issue, I don't often feel physically hungry. Its all a mental "hunger" at this point.

The thing is, I'm not totally unhappy with my weight right now. Oh, I know I would look better and would be more energetic if I lost another 50 pounds. But I feel pretty average at my current size (16/18 L/XL) What I am aiming for here is control over my eating. Currently I feel helpless about what and how much I eat. I tell myself that I am only going to eat when I am hungry, but then OOOOH COOKIES, nom nom I must have them.

Today, I feel like I'm heading in the right direction. Finally.
khristle: (Up Down Touch The Ground)
1 mile on tread.
khristle: (Default)
Ever try to swallow a marshmallow whole? That's what I think it feel like when I take too big a sip of water. This fill is really making me rethink the way I drink. What a learning experience!

This is really exciting though, I've lost 4 or 5 lbs since my fill on Friday. Yes, I know most of that is probably water weight. But still, I'm excited.
khristle: (Default)
I'm not having my band loosened today. I called the nurse and she thinks that I had some "normal post fill swelling", which is completely reasonable since I was filled waaay too tight at first. I'm on liquids /mushie mushie mushie for at least the next 24 hours and then I'll gradually build up to solid foods again.
khristle: (Default)
Today I'm managing a lot better than yesterday. I even managed some pork and beans. I don't think I've ever eaten so slowly in my life. Other than that I've stuck with liquids today. I am going to have some blended chili for dinner, that'll be good protein and filling as well.
khristle: (Default)
Ok, I'm getting concerned now. I just slimed on milk. My head is f-ing killing me. Brian isn't here and I can't reach him.

I just need to make it until Monday.
khristle: (Default)
After my failed attempt at eating oatmeal this morning, I tried a banana for lunch. Three (tiny) bites in and I knew that I was in trouble. I didn't slime but I knew that if I pushed it I would be in a great deal of pain. I had a raging headache so I finally settled for a cup of coffee. That went down ok but I'm having a bit of heartburn, which is a classic sign of having an overfill. I know I need to eat something and get some protein in for the day, but I'm really afraid of it getting stuck. Talk about your conditioning! I'm thinking that I'll start with pudding now and then refried beans later if the pudding goes well. If that doesn't work I guess I'll be on shakes until I can get back to the doctor. Oh well. Liquid diets aren't as terrible as they sound...I did it for what, a month before I could have solids?

I know this all sounds horrible, but I'm kind of excited! I think I'm right on top of my "sweet spot" which is where you're at when your band is adjusted perfectly and when you lose weight. It would be super nice to start losing again.
khristle: (Up Down Touch The Ground)
AMT
235 calories - 1.73 miles - resistance 5 - 9.

I have an appointment for nutrition therapy tonight and then possibly a fill. I don't know if they'll give me a fill since I had two really bad episodes of food getting stuck since the last one. On the other hand, I can still eat quite a bit and I'm not really losing weight. Although, come to think of it, I'm not sure if I can eat more than I'm supposed to. My perception of serving sizes has changed dramatically. Seeing large quantities of food can make me physically ill sometimes.
khristle: (Default)
The no snacking is going fairly well. I did have one after dinner snack because I was still hungry. I had gotten something stuck during dinner and didn't get to finish the rest of my meal. I snacked on fruit - so I don't feel too bad. Yesterday was smooth sailing and today is even easier.

I'm thinking of going back on a CAD type of diet. Basically, you eat low carb for two meals of the day, and then you can eat anything you want for the third meal, as long as you eat it all within an hour. That would be a piece of cake now, especially with my no snacking rule in place. I could totally do lunch meats and cheeses during lunch (yummo!) but I'm not sure what to have for breakfast. I need something that I can keep in my desk. I have been having oatmeal for breakfast everyday but that isn't exactly low carb.
khristle: (Default)
The lap band is really good at portion control during meals. It doesn't prevent you from snacking. If one is snacking on high calorie things you can eat enough to not lose or even gain weight. I know I have a problem with snacking. Here at work there is almost always food laying around and I WANT it. So I have a new goal. No snacking, at work. I can take whatever it is that I want (cookies, cupcakes, whatever!) and it at the end of my lunch or dinner. If I eat it then, I won't be able to eat the whole thing. Oh, and I am allowing myself 1 snack when I get home, but it has to be a healthy snack. No 300 calorie cookies!

This rule starts today.
khristle: (Default)
I haven't posted about my lap band progress in awhile so I guess it is about time. My weight loss has slowed down, but that was to be expected. I've lost a total of 67 pounds from my all time high, but about half of that I lost prior to surgery. I haven't had an adjustment to the band since the beginning of July, that is part of the reason I'm losing so much slower. After our flex plan reimburses us for Brian's fills I can take some of that money and get myself another fill or two. I just wish I didn't have to pay for nutritional therapy.

I love the band! I eat less than half of what I used to eat. Sometimes just looking at large portions of food just makes me ill. I don't have very tight restriction on my band and I don't have to be super careful about chewing my foods yet, except for bread products. Sometimes they just doesn't want to go down, especially in the morning before my band has loosened up. I had one bad experience with sushi and that makes me sad :( I might try it again with smaller pieces. Or I might just cut my sushi into smaller pieces, I'm crazy like that!

I haven't started exercising yet, although I'm much more active than I used to be. I can chase Molly all over the place and I love being outside with her. She is so active now, I can't imagine trying to parent her in the state I used to be in. Once winter sets in I think we'll start using our membership at Gold's Gym. That'll give Molly a chance to run around in a nice big area and burn off some energy too.
khristle: (Default)
Some people who have the band aren't able to eat breakfast because they are too tight in the mornings. It appears that I am one of them. I'm not horribly devastated. Having to find and prepare food just 15 minutes after I get out of bed is not something that I paticularly like doing. It seems that I'm able to eat about an hour after I wake up, so I *could* bring breakfast with me to work. Or I could get up earlier. (yes, that was a joke) Or I could buy some protein powder and mix it into my coffee.
khristle: (Sleepy boo - by poisonflower)
When I had my last fill I didn't feel any more restriction. The nurse called to check up on me and when I told her I didn't feel like I had a fill, she told me to wait 2 weeks and that it might catch up with me. Ok, that makes NO sense to me at all, but whatever. Yesterday was 2 weeks exactly from when I had my fill and I KNOW I have a fill. I've "slimed" 3 times in the last 2 days. Lesson learned, no more bread for me. I'm only a little sad. When I went on Atkins and lost all that weight the first time around, I remember saying "I wish there were something to keep me from eating bread for the rest of my life because I feel so much better without it." Well, now there is and I WILL feel better without it. So, breads and biscuits I bid thee farewell.

Also, I've lost the mysterious 2 pounds that I gained last week and an additional pound as well. Even when I'm not putting a ton of effort into the band, it works. That is what I love about it. I don't have to devote my entire life to weighing my food and counting points or calories or carbs.
khristle: (626 head bang)
With the lap band we don't need to be on any particular diet, just no snacking or drinking calories. I have been HORRIBLE about snacking lately. There is always food and candy sitting around the office. Why can't I pass that stuff up? I'm not so hard on myself when I'm snacking on fruit, but lately it has been cookies, cupcakes, chocolate and candy. I've gained 2 pounds since I've been home. I think I need to go hardcore Atkins for a week or two and then start adding good carbs back in. It is much too easy for me to over dose on bad carbs and then get addicted to them.
khristle: (Default)
I had my first fill today. I almost passed out during it. It didn't really hurt or anything, but once he hit the port the room went dark and started spinning. It was pretty cool! I got to see my band under floroscopy. He had me drink barium and I got to watch it pass through the band - that was pretty neat. My stomach pouch is so tiny compared to the rest of my stomach!

Todaay and tomorrow I'm on liquids again and then Thursday I do a day of mushie mushie mushie and then I can eat normal foods again, just in smaller quantities :) It has been really hard to keep my quantities down the last couple of weeks, I'll be glad for the help.
khristle: (Default)
I'm still losing weight (41 lbs to date) but my hunger has returned. Now that the swelling in my stomach has gone down I can eat larger portions of food without feeling full. I'm slipping back into old habits, snacking, eating quickly, bigger portions and I DON'T like it. I have a fill sometime soon and that should give me better restriction (I hope!). In the meantime I'm just concentrating on trying to eat lots of protein and fewer carbs. And eating slower. That will always be an issue for me, I fear.

Brian is doing well, but he is sort of having the same not feeling full issues that I am. He has another fill shortly after me.
khristle: (Stitich Dance - By giruff_icons)
So today I was in the bedroom and caught a glance of the headboard and noticed a bottle of pills on my side of the bed. It caught me off gaurd and I couldn't figure what pills I would keep in the bedroom. I had to go check the lable to discover that it was my reflux meds - which I haven't taken since the day before my surgery. I used to be so dependant on those little pills, if I missed a single dose I would be miserable the next day and now I'm thinking of flushing my remaining pills down the toilet since I have no use for them.
khristle: (Default)
Tomorrow I'll be three weeks out, I can't believe it has already been that long. I'm nearly 100% back to normal, the only time I have pain is if somebody (I'm not pointing fingers here, Molly) repeatedly kicks me in the port. I ate a PB&J sandwich yesterday and my stomach DID NOT like it. It was my first sandwich post op and I'm not likely to try another one for awhile. I've been keeping pretty active, going to the park, taking Molly outside and walking around, swimming. I want to start walking a little further - currently I just walk to the park and back, but I think I'll do a couple laps around the park before I let Molly out of the stroller.

I've lost THIRTY SEVEN pounds since January! I'm not compulsive about weighing like I was in my dieting days. I'm not actually concentrating on losing weight, I'm much more concerned with eating the right foods in the right way (chewing well, eating protein first, not drinking with my meals) and the weight loss is like a nice side effect.

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Crystal

February 2012

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